My focal point goes to the right side of the image. I think it would be interesting to see the eyes go from open to close to open on a vertical canvas.
There does seem to be a heavy focus on the right side of the image, an interesting idea to bring from balance to the other side would be to command+I a section of the image to inverse the colors.
When I looked at your piece it looked to me like the eyes on the upper right side going from open to close and following the path seemed like a way of showing the path to sleep, and once the eye is closed and you reach the end of the path, you find yourself in this abstracted, dream like environment. I think if you emphasized this path, maybe moving it to the left so we would read it as progression and a story, and have the dreamlike land on the right (so basically flipping the image) it would show a progression and a story, cause we read things left to right. I think you achieved the look of a dream like environment well!
I like the way the gate merges with the bed. It makes me think of dreams being a gateway to another world. My recommendation is to do something to break up the realistic appear of space in the left side of the image. Your landscape is very realistic with the exception of the bed. I suggest you add something that would distort this area a little more to make it look a little less like a photo or to make the viewer question the reality of this portion of the image.
there is a lot going on here, i would say you might try indicating a focal point to solidify the dream state concept, while maybe forgetting about including the blankets, while indicative of sleep they dont really fit into the image as it stands. the eye progression also feels awkward as its sequential nature lacks coherence with the rest of the image, i believe a pair of closed eyelid somewhere in the lower part of the image could really drive the idea of sleep
there is a lot going on here, i would say you might try indicating a focal point to solidify the dream state concept, while maybe forgetting about including the blankets, while indicative of sleep they dont really fit into the image as it stands. the eye progression also feels awkward as its sequential nature lacks coherence with the rest of the image, i believe a pair of closed eyelid somewhere in the lower part of the image could really drive the idea of sleep
I think you captured the essence of a dream really well. Everything blurs together in unconventional ways, but in dreams nothing's impossible so I like that your piece is pretty whimsical. I agree that the right side draws me in more than the left, but I also don't feel like my eye gets stuck over there. The sequence of the eyes acts as a line down to the rest of the piece for me and helps me move through it. I also know the eyes and stages of sleep were a big part of what you wanted to convey and I think they're very successful.
Wow, there is something conceptually about the eye/sun waking up that i love, but does not seem quite resolved yet. could this be the focal point? a sunset/rise with the eyes blending in? don't think this direction works with the layering tho. how do you communicate the idea of a dream using old references. just layering them doesn't make them dreamlike? also creates hierarchy problems. is it about rem or dreams or both. possibly focus on one or the other? i am intrigued by the simplicity and directness of the other ones with eyes discombobulated.
My focal point goes to the right side of the image. I think it would be interesting to see the eyes go from open to close to open on a vertical canvas.
ReplyDeleteThere does seem to be a heavy focus on the right side of the image, an interesting idea to bring from balance to the other side would be to command+I a section of the image to inverse the colors.
ReplyDeleteWhen I looked at your piece it looked to me like the eyes on the upper right side going from open to close and following the path seemed like a way of showing the path to sleep, and once the eye is closed and you reach the end of the path, you find yourself in this abstracted, dream like environment. I think if you emphasized this path, maybe moving it to the left so we would read it as progression and a story, and have the dreamlike land on the right (so basically flipping the image) it would show a progression and a story, cause we read things left to right. I think you achieved the look of a dream like environment well!
ReplyDeleteI like the way the gate merges with the bed. It makes me think of dreams being a gateway to another world.
ReplyDeleteMy recommendation is to do something to break up the realistic appear of space in the left side of the image. Your landscape is very realistic with the exception of the bed. I suggest you add something that would distort this area a little more to make it look a little less like a photo or to make the viewer question the reality of this portion of the image.
there is a lot going on here, i would say you might try indicating a focal point to solidify the dream state concept, while maybe forgetting about including the blankets, while indicative of sleep they dont really fit into the image as it stands. the eye progression also feels awkward as its sequential nature lacks coherence with the rest of the image, i believe a pair of closed eyelid somewhere in the lower part of the image could really drive the idea of sleep
ReplyDeletethere is a lot going on here, i would say you might try indicating a focal point to solidify the dream state concept, while maybe forgetting about including the blankets, while indicative of sleep they dont really fit into the image as it stands. the eye progression also feels awkward as its sequential nature lacks coherence with the rest of the image, i believe a pair of closed eyelid somewhere in the lower part of the image could really drive the idea of sleep
ReplyDeleteI think you captured the essence of a dream really well. Everything blurs together in unconventional ways, but in dreams nothing's impossible so I like that your piece is pretty whimsical. I agree that the right side draws me in more than the left, but I also don't feel like my eye gets stuck over there. The sequence of the eyes acts as a line down to the rest of the piece for me and helps me move through it. I also know the eyes and stages of sleep were a big part of what you wanted to convey and I think they're very successful.
ReplyDeleteWow, there is something conceptually about the eye/sun waking up that i love, but does not seem quite resolved yet. could this be the focal point? a sunset/rise with the eyes blending in? don't think this direction works with the layering tho. how do you communicate the idea of a dream using old references. just layering them doesn't make them dreamlike? also creates hierarchy problems. is it about rem or dreams or both. possibly focus on one or the other? i am intrigued by the simplicity and directness of the other ones with eyes discombobulated.
ReplyDelete